Past memeorys

this is a post about me and my past love... please read and comment...
   I woke up today crying... the dream was so real. I was there, I was being held the way i remember, I was shaking with fear, the fear that he would stop. I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want him to let me go. I wanted to keep looking in his eyes and be lost. So much was wrong with my life but when he held me like this none of that mattered any more. I didn't care that he was not perfect in everyone eyes cause in mine he was. I didn't care that he didn't make it thru the army cause if he had i would not be feeling like this. I was only 16 at the time and madly in love with a guy down he street from my house. He had lived there my whole life but i didn't take notice of him til the day he showed up at my aunts house looking so lost and alone.
   My first instinct was to run to him and hold him. To take that look of pain off his face. i dont remember what i did or how we came to be but we did. I became instantly in love with him. His smile was so soft yet strong and fearful. His voice was music to my ears. I was told by many girls that it was just a crush but no it was not, this guy took my heart with just a small smile. He stole my life with a simple hello... I was lost in him...
    Being young things never worked out the way we want them to and we broke up but he started to leave lil mixed tapes outside of my aunts door for me. I would listen to them and on the tapes he would be singing to me... i wanted to hate him and not love him, but the more i listened the more i missed him and wanted him back. I could not fight my heart... (I still have those tapes and listen to them on days like this) Here are the two songs i love that he sang for me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAWalYmC170
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7f189Z0v0Y

These songs make my heart long for him even tho its been years... we got back together a few time in he next few years but we never got it to work like we wanted it to... and even tho yes i am married i miss him with my whole heart... He was my first love, my first heartbreak, my first everything, I am crying as i write this cause it feels so good to say this and to miss him and remember him. Billy I love you always and forever.

Here is a few songs that make me think of him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRIt90x4UMs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM6Xmor6nX4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL-hSSZn5Pc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5nvaOD_Lr4&ob=av3n