For those of you that don't know... Yes I am Bi-polar... and yes i do have relapses like everyone else... There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about hurting myself and i thought for the longest time I was ok and I was over it... But it just took a few unkind words from a so called friend to push me over that edge and well here I am...
I was found by my husband with a razor and not there in the head...(no this is not a feel sorry for me thing ok) It's hard when you are confused and only 1 THING is running through your mind... I didn't want help... I didn't care cuz all i knew at that moment was my so called friend was calling me fat, ugly, stupid, retarted and making fun of the fact i am bipolar... it hurt so bad and i thought... fuck it.. if my so called friend can sit here and do this to me then i must not be worth it... i must be nothing... i must not be wanted around... i forgot that i have MORE THEN JUST HER... i got a husband, friends, family and love from all of them...
Its hard not to think bad when things are going so bad for you... but if someone is calling you names or pushing you around remember this... YOU are worth a damn... YOU are special to someone... YOU are loved...
i know i know how can you preach what you dont practice... im not perfect and i NEVER will be but with everyday that goes by i tell myself i am worth it and i listen to THOSE who DO care and THOSE who DO love me instaed of those who would hurt me in a blink of a eye.
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